What I Learned From My Own Family Emergency
My last post was in early June and the topic was unexpected disability.
Ironically, I needed to deal with some of the things mentioned in that email myself shortly afterwards.
On June 21st, my husband hit a deer while driving his motorcycle to work. He is alive and he is now back to normal, but it was rough for a while. Considering that such collisions are often fatal, he is very lucky.
When I got the call from the Ontario Provincial Police that morning, I was a bit of a mess. It was the communications centre that called me so they had limited information on how severe my husband’s injuries were. After falling apart on the phone, I realized I had to pull myself together and make some calls and then head to the hospital.
I called my family and my husband’s family immediately. I also had to call the school bus so that my children wouldn’t be picked up, the school to advise of their absence, my husband’s employer and my staff member to deal with the unexpected absences that day (and beyond). I didn’t have all of those numbers at the ready and flipping through a phone book or navigating an internal phone directory is not something that is easy to do when you are in an emergency situation.
Lesson learned: organize all your emergency contacts
Who would you need to call if a family member was in an accident? Who would need to be called if you were in an accident?
Figure out who that is and organize all those numbers so you can access them easily.
You may also want to save those numbers in your cell phone as “ICE” – In Case of Emergency numbers. Consider that someone other than you might be using your phone to figure out who to contact. Several ICE numbers might be helpful, e.g.” ICE my work”, “ICE home”, “ICE my parents”, “ICE my kid’s school”, et cetera.
Having such numbers at the ready will make an emergency situation much easier to deal with, believe me.
Not knowing my husband’s condition as I drove to the hospital, I wondered if I would need a copy of his Power of Attorney for Personal Care, in case I needed to make medical decisions if he was unconscious or needed surgery.
We wete in the process of amending our estate planning documents, so I wasn’t sure if I had our documents in the safe with client documents or if I had removed them and kept them in my own personal files while I was working on the changes.
So really, I didn’t know where the document was if I needed it. It was somewhere in the office but was not at the ready. Thankfully, it wasn’t needed, but not knowing exactly where it was certainly was not a good feeling.
Lesson learned: keep copies of all important documents at the ready
I have now confirmed the physical location of my estate planning documents in my office, and my staff knows where they are so they can be accessed in an emergency.
I tell clients to do this, but I’ve never done it myself. I’m going to copy our Powers of Attorney for Personal Care and keep them in the glove box of our car. If my husband rides a motorcycle again, I will leave a copy in the tank bag. In an accident, that is the document that is most likely needed.
I have also prepared emergency cards for our wallets, but I know my husband had taken his out at one point when he was cleaning out his wallet. I’m going to make sure that copies of that emergency card is in both our wallets and one is in the vehicles as well, as the emergency card outlines who to contact in an emergency and also tells first responders who to call if our children are not with us. These emergency contacts are the people who have authority to care for our children in an emergency.
I have learned other things from this situation, but I will leave you with those two for now. I hope that my experiences will push you to get things organized so that you are better prepared should an emergency occur.
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Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Estate Planning Security: Have It Before You Hit the Sand
Imagine the scene—it’s vacation time. You push the umbrella into the sand, watch the ocean waves roll up onto the beach in sublime rhythm. Your kids run out into the water, maybe, toting boogie boards and laughter. It’s the summer – the week ahead stretches out lazily, and all you have to do for the first time in months is just relax and enjoy family time.
You sink into your beach chair, feel the hot sun blazing down on your skin … wait, hot?!
You jump and race up the beach to the nearest phone (unless you are one of those that can’t leave it behind) to call a neighbor, someone, anyone.
You realize you forgot to turn off the stove!
As frightening as that scenario is, there are equally important red-flags that should trigger a similar alarm when preparing for vacation. Take for example the vital questions such as what would happen if you and/or your spouse were killed on the trip? What would happen to your children if you were incapacitated thousands of miles away from home? Have you prepared your will?
The last thing you need to worry about on vacation is what will happen if you don’t come back, and a good set of estate planning documents will keep that worry far from your mind. This typically means setting up a will and a powers of attorney tailored to the unique needs of your family before hitting the road.
Remember, simply writing a few requests down on a piece of paper does not mean you have a plan in place! A will must meet statutory requirements to be ruled as valid in the eyes of a court. Even if that sheet of paper accurately describes your post-mortum wishes, there is no guarantee that the Court will even consider the document. And in Ontario, the only way you can name guardians for your children is by a will.
So, before you slip into your bathing suit and hit the surf – make sure you know that your family is taken care of by planning for the worst and expecting the best!
Have Those Difficult Conversations Now: Who Is Doing What?
Note: This is the 2nd of a series of articles on the difficult conversations we all need to have with our loved ones.
In my last article, I suggested the place to start having the difficult conversations about illness, incapacity and death with our loved ones was with a simple question, “What legal documents do you have in place?”
If you or your loved ones have essential documents (a Will, Power of Attorney for Property and Power of Attorney for Personal Care), that is great. If you or they don’t have these documents, get them in place as soon as possible. All adults over the age of 18 need those three documents, at minimum.
I do recommend that these documents are completed by a lawyer, so you can ensure that they fit your situation. Everyone thinks they have a simple situation but that is usually not the case. And even if your situation is actually simple, there are often errors made in filling in the forms or in the witnessing of the documents by “do-it-yourselfers” that will render them invalid or change their meaning unintentionally.
In addition to ensuring the documents are legally valid and reflect your wishes, a lawyer will provide counsel to you about how to make the best decisions for you and your family. One of the decisions to make is who will do what in the event that you become incapacitated or when you pass away.
When someone passes away or becomes incapacitated without any documents in place, one of the hardest things for the family is figuring out who should (or can) take on a role. What can happen can go from the extreme of family members fighting in court over who should be appointed to a complete failure of any member of the family to step forward to act.
If you become incapacitated, someone will need to make decisions about your health care (under your Power of Attorney for Personal Care) and your property and finances (under your Power of Attorney for Property). After your death, someone will need to make funeral and burial arrangements, pay your debts and file your taxes and distribute your assets and property (as your Executor or Estate Trustee).
Who will have each of those roles? You can appoint one person or more than one person for all those roles.
Some things to think about in selecting who will do what is:
- Where does the person live? If they are not local or are out of province, having them in a primary role may prove difficult (and costly);
- If appointing two people, can they work together? Should they perform every action together, or can one make decisions in the absence of the other? What happens if they can’t agree?
- Do you have a “back up” if you are only appointing one person?
- If you are appointing different people in each role (i.e. one person for Executor, another for Power of Attorney for Property, another for Power of Attorney for Personal Care), they will like have to work together. Can they work together? Do they have contact information for each other?
- What will other members of your family think if they do not have a role?
There are many other factors that you should consider but the above are some practical facts that you should start with.
Once you have decided who should do what, it is important to ASK that person if they can take on the role before appointing them.
The next thing is to make sure the rest of your loved ones know why you have chosen this person. Some clients prefer to keep who they have appointed a “secret”, and I respect that decision. However, I do think things will go much more smoothly if there are no surprises and if all these difficult conversations (including who will do what and why) happen before illness, incapacity or death.
I will continue this series in my next column where you will find out more important questions to ask in the difficult conversations process.
Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
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Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estates and estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
When Divorced Parents Can’t Agree on Legal Guardians
As a Cornwall and area wills and estate planning lawyer, I can’t stress enough how important it is for all parents to create a comprehensive plan that will protect their children should the unthinkable occur.
But what happens if you are divorced and can’t come to an agreement with your ex-spouse as to who should raise your kids if something happens to you? Should you go ahead and document your own guardianship wishes anyway? And just whose wishes would hold up in court?
In most cases, if your child’s biological parent is still living at the time of your death and you share custody, your children will be raised by the surviving parent, unless there is some clear reason why that should not happen.
There is nothing you can do about this, unless you (or someone else after your death) can prove that the child’s other biological parent is unfit to raise your child and make a compelling case as to why your guardianship nominations should be honored under the circumstances.
Examples of this might include a severe drug addiction, criminal past or a history of abuse.
However, if this is unlikely, the next best thing to do is name guardians anyway so that your wishes for the care of your children will be known and taken into consideration should your ex-spouse should also pass away before your kids reach the age of 18.
This is especially important in the event your ex-spouse did not legally document his or her guardianship wishes upon passing, as your wishes would then be given priority over, say, an unwilling step-parent (just think back to the Cinderella story for a chilling example of this).
Finally, if you are a single parent and have concerns not only about guardianship, but also concerning your ex-spouse handling any assets you would leave to your kids if you passed away first, I encourage you to meet with an Cornwall and area wills and estate planning lawyer right away so you can protect such funds and ensure they are used for your children’s care only in your absence.
If you need help getting started with this, please feel free to give our office a call at 613-933-7720 and request a Peace of Mind Planning Session. These sessions are normally $500, but you can come in free of charge with the mention of this article. Again, call 613-933-7720 to reserve your spot, as my appointment times are limited.
Let’s pretend that April 30th doesn’t exist!
Just as you begin to enjoy the warmer weather that spring brings, it hits you. It’s tax time!
For most people tax time brings up images of boxes of random receipts and hours of searching for documents. Trying to get ready to do your tax return or organize for that yearly meeting with your tax preparer is a necessary evil.
What if you could avoid April 30th?
Imagine this, what if we could use the excuse that we are “too busy” or we were just not organized enough to do taxes? How many of us would actually get around to doing them? Not many, I’m guessing!
I know this is true because I hear it all of the time when people put off doing their estate plan!
But here’s the thing…just as Benjamin Franklin said over 100 years go…
“Nothing is certain but death and taxes.”
The thing is, people do plan for taxes each year. Whether it is because you are expecting to get a tax refund or out of a sense of obligation, you faithfully file your taxes. But what if I told you that those two critical reasons for doing your taxes are the exact same reasons you should do your estate plan? Let’s explore further…
“I’m too busy to do my estate plan. I’ll do it later.” Unlike tax season we do not know the exact date that we will die. But that date will come. It’s no fun to think about this, but there will be a date where we will die. If you pass away without an estate plan you will leave a mess for your family to deal with. Do you really want your loved ones dealing with a financial nightmare or would you prefer to take a deep breath, face your fears, and make things as easy as possible for them?
“I have better ways to spend my money.” Yes, doing your estate plan will cost you money, but here’s the thing. It could cost your family a LOT more in taxes if you choose not to put an estate plan in place. Do you really want the money you’ve worked for all of your life going to your tax bill instead of your family? The bottom line is that you can pay a little now or your family will pay a lot later!
Truth is, we don’t know our life’s “deadline.” We don’t have a government body like the Canada Revenue Agency looming over us threatening us if we fail to do our estate plan. But, the consequences that your loved ones will face if you fail to take care of this can be just as bad.
So, once you’ve gotten your documents organized for your tax preparation, why not go ahead and schedule an appointment to discuss estate planning for your family? Then you’ll have the peace-of-mind of knowing that your family will be taken care of no matter what.
Your Cornwall Lawyer on Cornwall Tonight With Amanda Logan Speaking About Why and How to Appoint Guardians For Your Children
I was recently on Cornwall Tonight with Amanda Logan and Cogeco TV Cornwall was gracious enough to post a clip of my interview with Amanda. Check it out at the Cogeco site here, or on You Tube here.
The video will give you a quick idea of what many of my seminars are like, but it also gives parents an idea of why and how to appoint guardians for their children. I hope you enjoy it.
Share Your Stories to Make Those Family Heirlooms Truly Priceless
As an estate planning lawyer in Cornwall and area, I have discussions with clients all the time about the assets they will leave behind to their loved ones after they pass away – their investments, their real estate, and their personal items in their home. Although personal items normally have the lowest monetary value, these items are often priceless to certain people.
When I talk to clients about their wills and estate planning, I stress the importance of leaving a legacy for your loved ones that is about more than just the money in the bank and the “stuff”. The stories that people have to tell are equally important and should be captured and shared. It is the telling of your stories that creates sentimental value in a personal item and makes that item a family heirloom, whether it be valuable in monetary terms or not. This was recently made very clear to me.
Allinotte Law Office has expanded, and with the expansion, things are looking a little empty and the walls seem bare. I need some art work and prints to cover these bare spaces. Conveniently, my parents have just done some work at their house and have taken some of their pieces down and were looking to store them or get rid of them. So I went to take a look to see what might work at my office. I walked away with some items that are very special to me and to my family.
Two of the pieces were crocheted doilies that my mother had framed several years ago. These doilies were made by my maternal great-grandmother when she was a girl in the Netherlands. My great-grandmother passed away in her nineties over twenty years ago, so these items are likely close to a century old. My daughter is named after my great-grandmother, so I will pass these pieces on to her when she is older.
The other two items that are priceless to me are two charcoal sketches that belonged to my maternal grandfather. They were sketched in the early 1940s and are of a mine and a castle in the Netherlands. Although I will likely never see the places in the sketches (if they are even still standing), looking at them makes me feel closer to my grandfather. My son has the same name as my grandfather (although he is actually named after his great-grandfather on my husband’s side, but that is another story!), so I will likely give these sketches to him later in life.
In addition to being aesthetically pleasing (and filling up the empty spaces), I now have these pieces that I will see every day that belonged to my relatives who are no longer with us. They are family heirlooms to me and I will treasure them. But if I didn’t know the stories behind them, I could have easily passed them over. At one time, the doilies were yellowed and folded up somewhere and those charcoal sketches were in a drawer or a box. So I thank my mother for sharing the stories about these items with me. I encourage you to look around at your important possessions and to share the stories about them with your loved ones so they too can see that these items are priceless.
Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
You can, but please use this complete caption with it:
Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estates and estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Love Stories for Valentine’s Day
For Valentine’s Day I thought I would share this lovely post by my colleague, Candice Aiston. Candice is a lawyer (and a friend) who is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in Portland, Oregon. Wherever you are and whomever you are sharing your Valentine’s Day with, I wish you a wonderful day.
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Love Stories for Valentine’s Day
by Candice N. Aiston
In my adult life, I have learned a lot about love, and I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned is that love is not a feeling, love is the things we do. Do you remember what you thought about love when you were younger? I remember thinking that love must be thrilling, exhilarating and blissful. My ideas about love probably started with some Disney movie, and then continued with 90210 and whatever other TV shows and movies I was into as a teenager. Although I heard from many grown-ups in my live that “love is in an action”, I didn’t really grasp that until I was older.
You know what else I’ve learned about love? I’ve learned that martyring myself doesn’t prove my love for someone. I’ve learned that taking great care of myself is a way of loving my family. I’ve learned that sometimes, when it comes to my kids, I don’t have to say yes to every single thing. They might not understand my love now, but they will when they are older. I didn’t always understand that my parents loved me, and I’m sure there were several years when they didn’t feel very warm and fuzzy about me, but their acts of love continued – making sure I was fed, clothed, educated, and given opportunities – and I can see that today.
The truth is, most of us are suckers for love stories, but not the unsexy stories that focus on real acts of love. We like romance. And when it comes to our kids, we enjoy those special warm and fuzzy moments like Christmas or birthdays, but we don’t feel warm and fuzzy about the loving acts that we do every day. Changing a diaper is a loving act, trust me. (Consider the alternative.) Going to work every day is a loving act. Making sacrifices to raise your kids according to your beliefs is a loving act. Sometimes, sacrificing the feel-good moments for the greater good is a loving act (like when you have to say no to something your kid wants to buy, because you are spending that money on something more important, like contributing to your retirement account).
And here are some love stories that I see in my line of work every day:
~The spouses who execute healthcare directives, so that one spouse is not left agonizing over important medical decisions.
~The spouses who organize their assets so that a surviving spouse doesn’t have to go to court to gain access to them.
~The working spouse who buys a life insurance policy so that a stay-at-home spouse is not left penniless and hopeless if something happens.
~The parents who start planning for retirement and end-of-life care early, so that theirkids are not overly burdened with their care later in life.
~The parents who execute a KidsCare Plan, so that their kids are always with the right people, no matter what happens.
~The parents who ensure that their family always has quick access to financial resources and are never left paying thousands of dollars to get access to the money they need.
~The parents who make sure that the kids’ inheritance is safeguarded until they are through college so that they have every opportunity in life.
~The parent who makes sure that their child always has an inheritance, even if the surviving spouse remarries.
~The parents who record a special message to their kids, so that their kids always have guidance, even if the parents are no longer there.
And there are so many more. Estate Planning is the ultimate act of love – ensuring that your family is cared for even if you’re not here. It probably won’t give you that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you see your kid on her first ride at Disneyland, and you won’t get any I-love-you’s from your kids for doing it, but you’ll know that your loved ones will always be taken care of, no matter what happens in life.
That’s what love is all about.
Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area. She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance. If you would like to receive her free report, “The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make,” please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.
Get Your Legal and Financial Affairs in Order in 2011
As you may know, I write a column for one of our local community papers, the Seaway News. Here is an article that was recently published on their web site. For the original article, please click here.
If you are interested in getting more information on getting your legal and financial affairs in order, you can attend my Busy Parent’s Legal and Financial Boot Camp on Thursday, February 24th at the Cornwall Public Library. For more information, visit my Coming Events page by clicking here:
Get Your Legal and Financial Affairs in Order in 2011
The start of a new year is the perfect time to review and evaluate your important documents. We’re approaching tax time, so you’ll need to organize all your financial documents anyway. Why not get it done now? Investing a few hours will provide you with peace of mind about your financial and legal security.
Some key components to get your financial and legal affairs in order include:
1. Review your estate plan
I recommend that everyone have a Will, and if you don’t already have one, consider setting up an appointment with a lawyer. Reviewing all of your assets and documents should help you prepare to meet with your lawyer.
If you already have a Will, make sure you (and your loved ones) know where the originals are located. Review it annuallyto ensure that the decisions you made still work for you and your family. Contact the individuals you selected as your guardian and executor and make sure they’re still able to take on these roles, if needed.
If you’re making the conscious choice not to complete a will, you should still review your assets and beneficiary designations. This means pulling out all of your Deeds, policies, benefit statements and other information about your assets and where they would go in the event of your death or incapacity.
2. Make sure that someone can make decisions for you if you cannot
A Power of Attorney for Personal Care allows you to choose someone to make your health care decisions if you are unable to do so yourself. While a “living will” is not really a legal document in Ontario, you can indicate in your Power of Attorney for Personal Care your specific wishes regarding end of life decisions and other important matters.
A Power of Attorney for Property allows you to choose someone to make financial decisions – and to deal with your property – if you were incapacitated. Think about what would happen if you suddenly were unable to sign cheques or make bill payments. If you haven’t appointed someone, your loved ones would need to bring a court application to be appointed as the Guardian of your property, which is expensive and time-consuming.
3. Get your financial and legal documents organized
It’s extremely important to “get your affairs in order,” As part of my estate planning process, I provide my clients with a Peace of Mind Personal Inventory, a tool to record all their important information, from their doctor’s contact information to their office security code. There are a lot of things that most of us store ‘in our head” that our loved ones would need if we were gone.
Don’t wait until someday–resolve to get organized today! To make the process easier, I’m offering $150.00 off all estate planning fees for clients who book an appointment before the end of February, 2011. Call Allinotte Law Office at 613-933-7720 to book your appointment today. Please mention this blog post when you call for an appointment.
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Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
You can, but please use this complete caption with it:
Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
5 Tips To Help You Choose The Right Executor
Aside from young parents selecting a guardian for their children, one of the most important, and sometimes difficult, decisions you will make in setting up your estate plan is the choice of executor.
You want to choose people to handle your estate that you trust to carry out your wishes and represent the best interests of your beneficiaries. And although we (mostly) love our family members and friends, not everyone is equipped for this important job.
To help you make the right determination, it helps to understand exactly what an executor does and what you should consider in choosing him or her.
First, Let’s Define “Executor”
When I say “executor” I’m talking about the person who will administer and value your estate once you die. An executor can be an individual (family, friend, or a professional) or an institution, such as a bank or a trust company.
What Should I Consider When Naming an Executor?
Serving as an Executor is a big responsibility and can be very time consuming. You want to make sure that you choose someone who is up to the task. When choosing your executor, consider the following character traits:
Loyalty and a Sense of Fairness – If your executor is named to take care your estate after your death, you want them to be fair to your beneficiaries. Your executor must be fair minded enough to treat all your beneficiaries equally and protect all their interests in administering your estate.
Trustworthiness – Is the person you’re thinking of naming as an executor someone you would trust with your money or even your life? Remember, when you die your executor could possibly be handling large sums of cash and property. Is this someone you would trust to invest the money well and sell your assets wisely?
Practicality – Common sense is a very valuable character trait when it comes to administering an estate. Make sure your nominee is able to make practical decisions both when it comes to your estate when you die.
Organized – If you love your brother but he hasn’t balanced his own checkbook in 10 years and has a stack of bills permanently situated on his kitchen table with no clue what is or isn’t there, you may want to rethink naming him as an executor. The person you name needs to be organized so that account balances and all bills, invoices, and other documents are handled promptly and properly.
Tough – You don’t want to name someone as your executor who is terminally unpleasant, but you definitely want someone who is tough-minded and strong willed enough to fend off greedy beneficiaries, deal with all the red tape involved in administering your estate and anything else that you just can’t plan for in advance.
Make Sure You Ask!
If you decide on someone to serve as your executor, discuss it with them before you put them in your estate planning documents and make sure they understand exactly what they’ll be undertaking and that they are prepared to take on the task.
