Have Those Difficult Conversations Now: Where To Start
Note: This is the 1st of a series of blog posts on the difficult conversations we all need to have with our loved ones about illness, incapacity and death.
I do many seminars in Cornwall and area on the topic of estate planning and, more specifically, about Wills and Powers of Attorney. In every seminar I give, I tell people that no matter how “good” your documents are, they might as well be worthless if you don’t talk about the documents with your family or loved ones.
Illness, incapacity, death and dying are uncomfortable topics for almost everyone, so the tendency is just to avoid it. I know many of my clients do stay away from the topic entirely, since I often get phone calls from people who knew their loved one had a Will but never asked about who the lawyer was who prepared it, where the Will was located, or what it said. In many cases, those Wills may never be found. Or, where there was no Will, the family members have no idea what the wishes of the deceased were and thus are unable to honour those wishes.
As someone who is involved in the legal side of incapacity and death, but who has been involved in the personal side as well, I urge all of you to have these difficult conversations now. I hope that this series of articles will help you “tear off the band-aid” so to speak and get talking about these issues – today!
Whether you are an adult who will soon be (or is already) taking care of your elderly parent or whether you are parents of young children, you need talk about these issues with the people in your life who would be called upon if something happens to you. And, if you are going to be acting on behalf of someone else, it is especially important for you to review things so you will know what to do when the time comes.
What are the conversations you need to have? I understand it can be hard to get the process started. While there are many places to begin, a basic place is the question:
“What legal documents do you have in place?”
You need to know if your loved ones have the three basic documents all adults need:
- A Will;
- A Power of Attorney for Property; and,
- A Power of Attorney for Personal Care.
It is important to find out what legal documentation is in place, and also where it is stored so that the documents can be found when needed. It is also important to ensure that your loved ones have the right documents in place before death or incapacity occurs.
I will continue this series in my next column where you will find out more important questions you need to ask in the difficult conversations process.
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Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estates and estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Your Cornwall Lawyer on Cornwall Tonight With Amanda Logan Speaking About Why and How to Appoint Guardians For Your Children
I was recently on Cornwall Tonight with Amanda Logan and Cogeco TV Cornwall was gracious enough to post a clip of my interview with Amanda. Check it out at the Cogeco site here, or on You Tube here.
The video will give you a quick idea of what many of my seminars are like, but it also gives parents an idea of why and how to appoint guardians for their children. I hope you enjoy it.
Share Your Stories to Make Those Family Heirlooms Truly Priceless
As an estate planning lawyer in Cornwall and area, I have discussions with clients all the time about the assets they will leave behind to their loved ones after they pass away – their investments, their real estate, and their personal items in their home. Although personal items normally have the lowest monetary value, these items are often priceless to certain people.
When I talk to clients about their wills and estate planning, I stress the importance of leaving a legacy for your loved ones that is about more than just the money in the bank and the “stuff”. The stories that people have to tell are equally important and should be captured and shared. It is the telling of your stories that creates sentimental value in a personal item and makes that item a family heirloom, whether it be valuable in monetary terms or not. This was recently made very clear to me.
Allinotte Law Office has expanded, and with the expansion, things are looking a little empty and the walls seem bare. I need some art work and prints to cover these bare spaces. Conveniently, my parents have just done some work at their house and have taken some of their pieces down and were looking to store them or get rid of them. So I went to take a look to see what might work at my office. I walked away with some items that are very special to me and to my family.
Two of the pieces were crocheted doilies that my mother had framed several years ago. These doilies were made by my maternal great-grandmother when she was a girl in the Netherlands. My great-grandmother passed away in her nineties over twenty years ago, so these items are likely close to a century old. My daughter is named after my great-grandmother, so I will pass these pieces on to her when she is older.
The other two items that are priceless to me are two charcoal sketches that belonged to my maternal grandfather. They were sketched in the early 1940s and are of a mine and a castle in the Netherlands. Although I will likely never see the places in the sketches (if they are even still standing), looking at them makes me feel closer to my grandfather. My son has the same name as my grandfather (although he is actually named after his great-grandfather on my husband’s side, but that is another story!), so I will likely give these sketches to him later in life.
In addition to being aesthetically pleasing (and filling up the empty spaces), I now have these pieces that I will see every day that belonged to my relatives who are no longer with us. They are family heirlooms to me and I will treasure them. But if I didn’t know the stories behind them, I could have easily passed them over. At one time, the doilies were yellowed and folded up somewhere and those charcoal sketches were in a drawer or a box. So I thank my mother for sharing the stories about these items with me. I encourage you to look around at your important possessions and to share the stories about them with your loved ones so they too can see that these items are priceless.
Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
You can, but please use this complete caption with it:
Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estates and estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Love Stories for Valentine’s Day
For Valentine’s Day I thought I would share this lovely post by my colleague, Candice Aiston. Candice is a lawyer (and a friend) who is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in Portland, Oregon. Wherever you are and whomever you are sharing your Valentine’s Day with, I wish you a wonderful day.
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Love Stories for Valentine’s Day
by Candice N. Aiston
In my adult life, I have learned a lot about love, and I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned is that love is not a feeling, love is the things we do. Do you remember what you thought about love when you were younger? I remember thinking that love must be thrilling, exhilarating and blissful. My ideas about love probably started with some Disney movie, and then continued with 90210 and whatever other TV shows and movies I was into as a teenager. Although I heard from many grown-ups in my live that “love is in an action”, I didn’t really grasp that until I was older.
You know what else I’ve learned about love? I’ve learned that martyring myself doesn’t prove my love for someone. I’ve learned that taking great care of myself is a way of loving my family. I’ve learned that sometimes, when it comes to my kids, I don’t have to say yes to every single thing. They might not understand my love now, but they will when they are older. I didn’t always understand that my parents loved me, and I’m sure there were several years when they didn’t feel very warm and fuzzy about me, but their acts of love continued – making sure I was fed, clothed, educated, and given opportunities – and I can see that today.
The truth is, most of us are suckers for love stories, but not the unsexy stories that focus on real acts of love. We like romance. And when it comes to our kids, we enjoy those special warm and fuzzy moments like Christmas or birthdays, but we don’t feel warm and fuzzy about the loving acts that we do every day. Changing a diaper is a loving act, trust me. (Consider the alternative.) Going to work every day is a loving act. Making sacrifices to raise your kids according to your beliefs is a loving act. Sometimes, sacrificing the feel-good moments for the greater good is a loving act (like when you have to say no to something your kid wants to buy, because you are spending that money on something more important, like contributing to your retirement account).
And here are some love stories that I see in my line of work every day:
~The spouses who execute healthcare directives, so that one spouse is not left agonizing over important medical decisions.
~The spouses who organize their assets so that a surviving spouse doesn’t have to go to court to gain access to them.
~The working spouse who buys a life insurance policy so that a stay-at-home spouse is not left penniless and hopeless if something happens.
~The parents who start planning for retirement and end-of-life care early, so that theirkids are not overly burdened with their care later in life.
~The parents who execute a KidsCare Plan, so that their kids are always with the right people, no matter what happens.
~The parents who ensure that their family always has quick access to financial resources and are never left paying thousands of dollars to get access to the money they need.
~The parents who make sure that the kids’ inheritance is safeguarded until they are through college so that they have every opportunity in life.
~The parent who makes sure that their child always has an inheritance, even if the surviving spouse remarries.
~The parents who record a special message to their kids, so that their kids always have guidance, even if the parents are no longer there.
And there are so many more. Estate Planning is the ultimate act of love – ensuring that your family is cared for even if you’re not here. It probably won’t give you that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you see your kid on her first ride at Disneyland, and you won’t get any I-love-you’s from your kids for doing it, but you’ll know that your loved ones will always be taken care of, no matter what happens in life.
That’s what love is all about.
Candice N. Aiston is an Estate Planning Attorney for families in the Portland, Oregon area. She helps loving parents to prepare their families for a lifetime of security, prosperity, and guidance. If you would like to receive her free report, “The 9 Common Planning Mistakes Parents Make,” please visit http://candiceaistonlaw.com/.
Get Your Legal and Financial Affairs in Order in 2011
As you may know, I write a column for one of our local community papers, the Seaway News. Here is an article that was recently published on their web site. For the original article, please click here.
If you are interested in getting more information on getting your legal and financial affairs in order, you can attend my Busy Parent’s Legal and Financial Boot Camp on Thursday, February 24th at the Cornwall Public Library. For more information, visit my Coming Events page by clicking here:
Get Your Legal and Financial Affairs in Order in 2011
The start of a new year is the perfect time to review and evaluate your important documents. We’re approaching tax time, so you’ll need to organize all your financial documents anyway. Why not get it done now? Investing a few hours will provide you with peace of mind about your financial and legal security.
Some key components to get your financial and legal affairs in order include:
1. Review your estate plan
I recommend that everyone have a Will, and if you don’t already have one, consider setting up an appointment with a lawyer. Reviewing all of your assets and documents should help you prepare to meet with your lawyer.
If you already have a Will, make sure you (and your loved ones) know where the originals are located. Review it annuallyto ensure that the decisions you made still work for you and your family. Contact the individuals you selected as your guardian and executor and make sure they’re still able to take on these roles, if needed.
If you’re making the conscious choice not to complete a will, you should still review your assets and beneficiary designations. This means pulling out all of your Deeds, policies, benefit statements and other information about your assets and where they would go in the event of your death or incapacity.
2. Make sure that someone can make decisions for you if you cannot
A Power of Attorney for Personal Care allows you to choose someone to make your health care decisions if you are unable to do so yourself. While a “living will” is not really a legal document in Ontario, you can indicate in your Power of Attorney for Personal Care your specific wishes regarding end of life decisions and other important matters.
A Power of Attorney for Property allows you to choose someone to make financial decisions – and to deal with your property – if you were incapacitated. Think about what would happen if you suddenly were unable to sign cheques or make bill payments. If you haven’t appointed someone, your loved ones would need to bring a court application to be appointed as the Guardian of your property, which is expensive and time-consuming.
3. Get your financial and legal documents organized
It’s extremely important to “get your affairs in order,” As part of my estate planning process, I provide my clients with a Peace of Mind Personal Inventory, a tool to record all their important information, from their doctor’s contact information to their office security code. There are a lot of things that most of us store ‘in our head” that our loved ones would need if we were gone.
Don’t wait until someday–resolve to get organized today! To make the process easier, I’m offering $150.00 off all estate planning fees for clients who book an appointment before the end of February, 2011. Call Allinotte Law Office at 613-933-7720 to book your appointment today. Please mention this blog post when you call for an appointment.
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Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
You can, but please use this complete caption with it:
Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Adoption, Blended Families, and Your Estate Plan
In my post last week, I reviewed whether or not parents should amend their estate plan if they are having more children. I thought I would continue on that theme this week, as there are other ways in which a family can grow – particularly, through adoption and second relationships. No matter how your family expands, it is always important to review your estate plan with a big life change.
In most jurisdictions, an adopted child would only have rights to inherit after an adoption is finalized. The adoption process can be lengthy and if your estate plan didn’t specifically provide for this child in the meantime, they would not be considered as a legal beneficiary of your estate if you passed away. That means, the “not quite” adopted child would not be entitled to a share of your assets (although they may be entitled to some ongoing support from your estate if they would be considered your dependant).
By updating your estate plan, you can ensure that child who is “not quite” adopted would receive the rights and benefits needed in the event of a tragedy. You can also nominate guardians for that child. Also, if you wish for that child to have a relationship with his or her natural parents or relatives, you can indicate your wishes for this in your instructions to the guardians.
As with “not quite” adopted children, problems can occur with step-children in blended families. In some cases, the children may have an absent or deceased natural parent and the relationship with their step-parent is a strong one. In those cases, the step-parent likely wants that child to be considered as their own child for all purposes, including inheriting under their Will or estate. Again, a step-child would not be considered a legal beneficiary and if the step-parent wanted to ensure that child would be provided for in the event of their death, they will need to specifically state that in their will.
By the same token, many children in blended families have three or four loving parents – their natural parents and their step-parents. Often in those situations, the step-parent may want to exclude their step-child from inheriting under their Will or estate – not because they don’t love them, but because that child will be well provided for by his or her natural parents or grandparents. Again, in order to be clear about your intentions, it is important to state your wishes in your Will and related documents.
As I often stress to all of my clients in Cornwall and area, anyone with children really needs to have an up-to-date estate plan, but for families with “not quite” adopted children or blended families, having a plan in place that accurately reflects your wishes is even more important.
I am currently offering a FREE Peace of Mind Planning Session and $150.00 off all estate planning fees for clients who book an appointment before the end of February, 2011. Call today to make your appointment (and be sure to mention you read this blog post): 613-933-7720.
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Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
You can, but please use this complete caption with it:
Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Do We Have To Change Our Will If We Are Having Another Baby?
I’ve noticed recently that more and more families are having three children (or more!). Some friends and clients have added to their families in the last couple of years and some will be having a new family member arrive in the next few months. Thinking of all the changes they will need to make led me to consider whether or not they need to change their Wills.
When I meet with clients to do their Wills and Powers of Attorney, I always talk about when they should review or make changes to their Wills. There are some events in life that should make you ask if the plan you made still “works”. Some of these events are marriage and divorce, death of a close family member (or a person named as a beneficiary or executor), and, also, adding a new family member.
While you may not have to change your Will as your family grows, you certainly should think about it and perhaps review it with your family (and your lawyer) after getting the happy news.
Some things that you would need to think about when reviewing your plan are:
- Did your Will name your existing children or did it talk about your “issue”? If your existing children were named, it is possible that your Will may not include another child. If you aren’t sure if your new child would be included in your Will, you should see your lawyer to make sure.
- Hopefully your Will named guardians who would take care of your children in the event that both parents passed away. Are your guardians going to be willing and able to care for another child? You need to check in with your guardians with each new child to ensure they are still up to the task of caring for your growing brood. You also should speak to your guardians if they add to their family to make sure that they would still be able to handle the additional responsibilities that being guardians to your children would bring.
- Now is also a good time to review your life insurance and savings needs. As your family grows, so will your expenses. You should review your financial picture to make sure your (larger) family will be taken care of if something happens to you and your spouse.
So, before you have to worry about late night feedings and diaper changes again, review all of these things and set up an appointment with your lawyer or financial advisor if necessary so that you can be ready for your new arrival.
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Are you interested in using this article in your newsletter or on your blog or website?
You can, but please use this complete caption with it:
Michele R.J. Allinotte is the owner of Allinotte Law Office in Cornwall, Ontario and she helps her clients make the best decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses. Her practice focuses on the areas of business law, estate planning and real estate. Visit www.YourCornwallLawyer.com to get her FREE Peace of Mind Personal Inventory to make sure that your family has all the information they need.
Happy Holidays from Allinotte Law Office
As this busy holiday season approaches, all of us at Allinotte Law Office would like to take this time to wish you happy holidays and to pass on our best wishes for the new year.
We hope this holiday season gives you a chance to relax and enjoy friends and family.
5 Tips To Help You Choose The Right Executor
Aside from young parents selecting a guardian for their children, one of the most important, and sometimes difficult, decisions you will make in setting up your estate plan is the choice of executor.
You want to choose people to handle your estate that you trust to carry out your wishes and represent the best interests of your beneficiaries. And although we (mostly) love our family members and friends, not everyone is equipped for this important job.
To help you make the right determination, it helps to understand exactly what an executor does and what you should consider in choosing him or her.
First, Let’s Define “Executor”
When I say “executor” I’m talking about the person who will administer and value your estate once you die. An executor can be an individual (family, friend, or a professional) or an institution, such as a bank or a trust company.
What Should I Consider When Naming an Executor?
Serving as an Executor is a big responsibility and can be very time consuming. You want to make sure that you choose someone who is up to the task. When choosing your executor, consider the following character traits:
Loyalty and a Sense of Fairness – If your executor is named to take care your estate after your death, you want them to be fair to your beneficiaries. Your executor must be fair minded enough to treat all your beneficiaries equally and protect all their interests in administering your estate.
Trustworthiness – Is the person you’re thinking of naming as an executor someone you would trust with your money or even your life? Remember, when you die your executor could possibly be handling large sums of cash and property. Is this someone you would trust to invest the money well and sell your assets wisely?
Practicality – Common sense is a very valuable character trait when it comes to administering an estate. Make sure your nominee is able to make practical decisions both when it comes to your estate when you die.
Organized – If you love your brother but he hasn’t balanced his own checkbook in 10 years and has a stack of bills permanently situated on his kitchen table with no clue what is or isn’t there, you may want to rethink naming him as an executor. The person you name needs to be organized so that account balances and all bills, invoices, and other documents are handled promptly and properly.
Tough – You don’t want to name someone as your executor who is terminally unpleasant, but you definitely want someone who is tough-minded and strong willed enough to fend off greedy beneficiaries, deal with all the red tape involved in administering your estate and anything else that you just can’t plan for in advance.
Make Sure You Ask!
If you decide on someone to serve as your executor, discuss it with them before you put them in your estate planning documents and make sure they understand exactly what they’ll be undertaking and that they are prepared to take on the task.
You Don’t Have To Fight For Your Right, Just Vote!
